NEGATIVE? "If you don't have any problems, you don't get any seeds," Norman Vincent Peale |
TIRED
OF POSITIVE THINKING?
Why
don't we reverse the process and embrace the other side? Without you
saying it, going positive all the time is almost always too tall an
order. Hard to smile when you're confronted with electric bills,
water interruption, problematic WiFi connection and an impending
typhoon. Somehow you have to condition yourself that everything will
turn out all right in the end.
The
power of positive thinking, to start with, takes it cue not in the
idea of conditioning the bright side of life but suppressing the dark
side of it. Its existence is dependent on the presence of the other,
like it tries to light a candle in the dark because it is afraid.
The
positive and the negative. A flashlight can't light up by relying
solely on the positive side, it needs some sort of negativity for it
to function well (plain and simple). No matter how many times we
condition ourselves to the finer things in life, negatives are as
indispensable in our daily grind as with a positive note. And because
a lot of us are battering on to the idea of positive thinking in
almost every aspect of our lives, hard to imagine at all if we are
aware of its bruises.
First
of all, I am not a positive thinker. At least from the perspective of
what positive thinking is all about. I could be positive on long
stretches, but because I tend to oversimplify a complicated thing, my
brand of positive thinking suffers in comparison with what others
tend to profess. I guess a bit of inspiration would do for me to
display that kind of attitude. Suffice it to say, emphasizing the
positives sometimes tend to display a distorted view of yourself.
Although
far it be from me to suggest that dwelling on the negatives will not
so much affect your personality or your relationships any more than
succumbing to the positives, because a negative attitude is always a
negative attitude. No more, no less. You can't justify a negative
thing by feeling positive about it. That's lunacy, if you ask me. My
only gripe about dwelling so much on the positive is that it forces
you to deny the truth about the negative things around you. Simply
put, you are more or less viewing life like a fantasy, a state of
being that could put you, so to speak, in harm's way.
People
should be wary, careful even, about professing the positive side of
things. There is always a catch attached to that like a witty quote.
Not all positives are positives, in the same way that not all
negatives are detrimental or unhealthy. And not all positives are
free. Sometimes when someone confesses something positive, it is
their way of telling you that you have to work for it.
I
do believe that you need to exhaust all the negatives around you
before you could actually extract something positive from it, that's
where the principle of negative thinking takes its cue. Your
positives only exist because your negatives allows it. Your negative
thoughts can stand on its own because people are by nature critical,
but your positive thoughts will suffer some strains without it.
I
remember a story I read from Khalil Gibran a few years back about
this eternal battle between good and evil. In it, an idea is in
question about these two warring forces, God and you-know-who, the
idea that the only reason good or even God exists it's because of the
presence of this evil, as represented in the story by, yes, Satan
himself. Without this evil or Satan, good is nothing more than a
whimper, and that God is a non-functioning entity after all. Like
what good it would be for God if there's no evil around? The story
was so convincing that at the end you would question your positive
agenda about what it meant to be a positive person.
It's
cool to have a positive attitude though. I would definitely recommend
it, not that we should exude it at all times, but because we need to
set an example somehow.
The
problem with it is that its coolness is taking on a different feel, a
different shape, and that others use it for some (questionable)
reasons, self-serving protestations that doesn't have to do with
anything positive at all.
We
thought that by displaying a positive flair, a feel-good mentality,
everything will take care of itself, everything is in place, and that
everybody's cool about it. But to disregard the negativity around you
would be to court disaster at every turn, your deliberate contempt
about it is nothing short of being fatalistic about what goes on
around.
And
I find it hard to swallow the whole thing. We even teach our children
the art of saying "no" (don't talk to strangers) and all
the while encouraging them to think positive. Would that be a bit
contradictory? Why don't we just lay all the cards on the table,
positive or not, explain to them the pros and cons, and usher them
into reacting with a sense of responsibility, instead of showing them
how positive life is, when what goes on around them is a complete
opposite of what you're trying to impart. Sometimes being negative
allows you to become circumspect, enabling you to decide with a
better view of the issue, instead of dwelling on a part of it.
Balance
is all. And you can only secure that by acknowledging the merits of
going negative, if need be. Not that you wallow yourself with a lot
of negativity around you, but that you need to question yourself
also, and not accept "positive thinking" as if it's the
only available commodity around.
It
is only when you question yourself that you attract a sense of
proportion, especially when you're about to make an important
decision. Nobody in their right mind would make a decision, or plan
something, with only the positives are its only variables, there has
to be some room for improvement somehow in case that decision fails
or that plan somehow falters.
Yes,
there is such a thing as the Law of Attraction. It is an
extended expression of going positive in life, that if you claim
something good in you, you will reap something good in return, like
sowing and reaping. But behind the philosophy, behind the networking
potential, whether positive-thinkers admit it or not, is the desire
not to associate themselves anymore with anything negative in life.
Behind that big applause to go positive from now on is that equally
big resolve not to go behind the curtain again. You can't go positive
without being negative in the first place. That's just the way it is.
At
any given moment, we need to have that negativity within us. For one,
it is for our own protection. You can't accept everything in life
with a lot of positives head on and expect to click right away, you
need to go back home at some point. And by going home means you
accept the realities around you as it is. You can go positive for as
long as you want, but it's hard not to consider the pollution, the
gossip, or even the rain outside your door. You have to deal with it,
whether you like it or not. And second, it's almost impossible to
live life on a bed of roses. One wonders the idea of sleeping on it
without minding the thorns at all. Imagine that.
Make
no mistake about it, I don't dwell on the negatives any more than
going solo for the positives, in the same way that I don't profess to
know anything more than my experiences would allow, because I always
thought that believing on the positive side too much is actually
giving luck more license to dictate your chances in life than by
giving cause and effect a chance to redeem itself.
Negative
thinking is not so much a matter of having a negative view of
yourself or the things around you, but that you're actually showing a
way for that positive outcome to take its course, its tao, by
being critical and negative about it.
photo: www.jssgallery.org
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