10 Things I Hate About White-Soled Shoes

THAT GREAT WHITE SHARK How this fashion beast manages to hide in plain sight

I DON'T KNOW HOW IT all started, or when, or why do I have this issue with me. I know this isn’t clinical because I was quite lucid when I first thought of it. And I don’t know if I’m the only one chasing this wild animal around. Heck, it may not be a problem at all, but this is getting in my nerves for so long now.

Call me crazy! Call me what you will. Yet there’s still something wrong with it. So here it goes: I HATE WHITE-SOLED SHOES. I know many are into it right now, wearing them with a lot of pride or prestige for that matter. But I still would want to raise the question up, not for the sake of arguing, but more like treating it the right way, placing it at the right spot. That’s almost impossible, yet, considering a lot of people, young and old, boys and girls, are letting themselves be sucked into this fashion apocalypse, I might as well go straight to the point.

Anyway, here are my 10 reasons why I’ve been having problems with its appearance, and why you should get rid of it, that is, if you can.

It Stuns the Growth

If you are bereft of height, it’s about time you junk the idea of getting a pair of it. You don’t have to be a fashion expert to point out the obvious. White-soled shoes don’t look good from afar, especially if you’re height is going downstairs. That straight white line underneath this shoe stuns or cuts the entire structure as if there’s no foundation at all. It creates a cutting effect in relation to the ground underneath. And soles usually measure about an inch. So if you stand 6 feet on it, you’ll end up staggering an inch removed from that purported stand. 

It Easily Gets Dirtied 

DIRTY HARRY You don’t want to get crazy looking underneath the side of your shoes always

If you’re squeamish about having dirty snickers like I am, then why would you wear some white-soled shoes around? On this side of the tropics, though, donning white-soled shoes is almost like wearing a fur coat under the heat of the sun (unless you don’t give a hoot about sweating and all that). You don’t want to get crazy looking underneath the side of your shoes always because it has some smudge on it, don’t you? Not if you’re walking on snow because your white-soled thing would blend on its surroundings. When there’s mud and rain and poop, don’t even think about it. 

It Doesn’t Have Any Balance

I can stomach all white shoes instead of a white-soled one. At least there’s continuity with the former, the latter a con. But I don’t know who invented this design! I hope he’s a tall guy because that would give justice to his invention. Other than that, this white-soled thing doesn’t make any sense at all. Unless you pair it with a white collar on top of your shirt, only then would the entire operation save the baby. Balance is all. Either you wear all-white or all-black shoes, anything apart from that comes from the Devil. 

It Was Purchased Backdoor 

HERE, THERE, EVERYWHERE Running around and freaking out

There’s plenty of white-soled sporty shoes sold at a cheaper price everywhere, and these are mere imitations to the original. So if you have the habit of buying original stuff, this sure looks like a stab in the back. Not only it’s illegal, but it’s also shortchanging customers, too. Shortchanging, as in “stunting the height”, which means that the classic Air Jordan could be had with only a few bucks, and you can now enjoy its ubiquitous sole on your way to the basket. Now, when that happens, you don’t want to be the butt of jokes because you’re running around with that fake thing and making a fool of yourself, appearing an inch shorter than your supposed height.

It’s Not Classy

This is on me, but there are reasons to prove that anything that has white in it is not something that would induce stylishness or depth. If you’re playing for the Wimbledon, yes, outside of it, though, it’s a bit inappropriate or inferior for the most part. It is as if the design is fit only for hardwood use and, no disrespect to those who pamper it almost every day, you immediately think of grade school when you stir up that white-soled stuff right away. You don’t want to go on a date with that, don’t you?  

It Might Be from Your Sister

THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY And is exposed in broad daylight

Yes, you heard me. That might be from the snotty one, for all we know. Let’s face it. It’s rare that you get to see snickers, casual shoes, from girls that aren’t white-soled at all. And that has become an imprint for quite some time. There’s no escaping to it. You see them in the malls, at school, on their night outs, spring breaks, everywhere. Unless you take the risk of wearing them in broad daylight (you’re my hero if you can do that). 

Not that I’m questioning such choices or gender preference, but my eyebrows would immediately rise if I see you getting white-soled a shade reach from your mustache. Too feminine for guys!

It’s Limited

MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE Lies the difference

Other than sports, no way you’re wearing that for the rest of the week. The fact that everybody’s wearing it makes it all the more limiting in a sense. Look around you, look close enough, there’s no difference at all if you line them up altogether. Where’s the character in there? Some people often complain about not making any difference, and the reason is already underneath them. It’s not what you do that makes all the difference; it’s the shoe you’re wearing on. You get that?

It’s a Fad

Someday I will be vindicated. This white-soled phenomenon will go down in a whimper, and people will embrace my reasons like they have embraced these paled-footed snickers for almost a quarter of a century now. It will be replaced with a different hue that’s not bright or illuminating, but something that is not blinding to the eye (and not a headache in my head). If Vince Carter retires, that would be the start of the transformation. 

It’ll Make You Float

Stephen King must have thought about it, too, and wrote a classic out of the mysteries of this ghastly horror. To illustrate further, try asking someone to wear a black shirt and some black pants with some white-soled shoes on it, and let them stand on a white pavement. From afar, you can tell that he has something peculiar underneath and that his feet didn’t actually touch the ground, creating a floating effect. That’s what you would call “Penny Wise”.

It’s So Common

As I said, it’s hard to tell the world what stuff you’re made of, especially if you’re wearing what everybody’s wearing on a daily basis. Look, I have nothing against this white-soled craze like I hated it to the bone, unless you’re tall and not going out on a date with it, but I want some changes on its design. It doesn’t stand to reason if you cut your feet flat and still walk around as if it's the natural thing to do. For me, it’s a bad design, for reasons I have enumerated already, even as I cringe every time I see one.  

WALKING SMALL But floating nonetheless