Battered

HIDING BEHIND THE STIGMA Men are suffering, too 

MAYBE IT'S ABOUT TIME WE talk about the other end of the story. Maybe if we can discuss it, we might be able to know further what harassment really is, and hope to understand the issue better from a man's point of view. 

Yes, we already know the usual narrative. We know how precarious women have become these days that we almost see men as a hair removed from becoming sexual offenders. That is more or less the cloud encircling the atmosphere lately between both parties, and it is becoming bothersome. 

Men are harassed, too. And that's supposed to be an aberration considering the growing popularity of championing the plight of any women out there, the weaker sex, so to speak. But, for some reason, the scale is tilting at an uneven position. In favor of the women, of course. 

We understand that women have to be protected, that they should be given an equal opportunity at home or at work. The flip side, however, it has been given extra credit to a point where men are essentially confused, let alone at a loss for words at times. And that should not have been the case.

The percentage may vary as far as battered men go, but this is a double-edged sword. It is an occupational hazard and a domestic quandary all at once. And these incidents are usually ignored. Our laws are a bit biased on this because women are perceived to be at a disadvantage when it comes to harassment.  

A lot of men are suffering underneath the sheets also. And since we are conditioned not to hit women because it’s ungentlemanly or cruel, the suffering is even more pronounced. Maybe that’s the reason why a growing number of men capitulate easily. Under the circumstances, their harassment is much more intrinsic. 

Maybe it's about time we thrash these stereotypes on men as sexual aggressors. There’s nothing really wrong with securing the safety and welfare of women, that is quite admirable, but that should be treated with a sense of proportion. Who knows what really happened in a sexual harassment case? Who knows what’s going on inside closed doors? Who’s using who? It could be that some of the issues are blown out of proportion and that there really is no harassment at all. We know nothing of it.  

So it helps that we get a glimpse at the other end of the bargain, that is, from the men’s viewpoint. What difference does it make? A henpecked husband suffering some bruises after receiving a beating from his wife is no different from inflicting the same punishment on a woman. And we laugh every time we see something like that. It would have been a different story otherwise.

We poke fun when a guy does nothing to a woman who goes aggressive on him. We label him a sissy, prude, weak, normal, or any kind of names that demean his manhood or machismo for that matter. But when the aggressiveness is returned, we are quick to brand it as harassment.    

This is no laughing matter. We know more and more men are keeping their mouths shut because more and more women are letting it out in the open. It is great, though, to have that sort of dynamic in the house or in the workplace, it should be dealt, nevertheless, with a lot of vigilance. These men are not stupid; they simply want a clearer understanding of things. And that is not asking too much.